What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
