Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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