my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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