I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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