Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
