why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
