Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
