So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
