I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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