But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
