I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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