I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
