This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
