i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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