My room smells like vodka and shame
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
