I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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