I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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