i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
