can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
