Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
