Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
