He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
