bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
