Ketchup is God's man juice
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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