We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
