We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
