Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
