my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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