I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
