I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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