I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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