you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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