so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
