we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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