I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
