Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
