I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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