Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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