found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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