their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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