You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
