'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
