my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just found puke in my bra..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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