ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize