Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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