Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
