We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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