Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
