Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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