Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am naked and annoyed.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
