Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
