You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
