I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
