I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
