My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize